military aviation jokes

Pictures Archives - Aviation Humor "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position", 18. The U.S. Air Force chooses their hotels based on the stars. 13:30 comes and goes. Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor - Pinterest An officer asked if I knew what it meant. The list below includes humorous one-liners and stories that will make your military friends and family members laugh like never before. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. He grabbed a bagel and took a seat. 100+ WW2 Trivia Questions For HistoryBuffs, 17 Military Personnel Talk About The Creepiest Thing Theyve Seen OnDuty, 100+ Scary Stories to Read in the Dark to Leave You With Chills[2021], A Writers Diary Entries From Mid-April,1986, 30 Spooky Paranormal Stories From Former MilitaryPersonnel, You might be in the Coast Guard if people have looked at you and said, The Coast Guard is part of the military?, You might be in the Coast Guard if your child points to the ship and says, Thats where my parent lives!, You might be a Coastie if you head an HH-65 and. 2. Aboard a troop carrier crossing the Atlantic, I noticed a seasick pal of mine losing it over the railing alongside several other soldiers. Dont think so? As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Did you make it all by yourself? Our bases Army Exchange Service carried a particular brand of underarm deodorant that I liked and bought for years. Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that, the gunner said. His reply was quick and to the point: You didnt.. Why does the military only allow dress shirts during ceremonies and events? For example, heres what happens when each of them is told to secure a building. Learn from the mistakes of others. Not to mention, when spending many hours deployed and away from home, telling jokes and connecting through humor is the best way to avoid the difficulty of real life. She told me she warships them. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. It was always selling out, and I could never keep it in stock. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. 75+ Top Military Jokes for Every Branch | Thought Catalog All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. More information More like this Known to bicker and make fun of each other often, its likely that those in the military have a good sense of humor. But my fears were put Our bases Army Exchange Service carried a particular brand of underarm deodorant that I liked and bought for years. We are currently looking for former Marines to join the team who are interested in writing about tactical gear, survival gear, hiking supplies, etc. Related read: When Is Military Appreciation Month? [Easy] How to Clean Rust off of a Gun Without Damaging it? Caller: Is Sgt. The Funniest Aviation Jokes and Anecdotes - LetterPile Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. 'I could see the bones in my hands.' F-84 pilot tells the story of when P | Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. My husband is infantry, and he said the most wonderful things to convince me to marry him: The closets could all be mine since he wears the same thing Humankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there. I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? Military Aviation Archives - The Aviationist ", The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. To the Soldiers surprise, the Marine was laughing about it. [Answered]. We were inspecting several lots of grenades. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? The Best Military Jokes: Jokes for Every Branch - Reader's Digest My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. Members of the U.S. Navy are known to be a pretty sarcastic bunch. It was sheer brilliance. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. with someone braver than you.'. Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. Funny military jokes are a great way to bring some morale to our service people, so whip out a few of these military jokes at your next gathering of family or friends to get some guaranteed laughs. This poor old fool, thought the Navy officer, so he invited the old man inside to buy him a drink. Warren and his wife Joy went to the local Air Show every year, and every year Joy would say, "Warren, I'd like to ride in that helicopter. Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number. Whats the difference between a special forces member of the Navy and an otter? In the 50s, I was a clerk typist at our base headquarters in Verdun, France. Do not use 27 packs of sticky notes to label everything in the barracks so the general wont have any questions during the inspection. 27. When the Marine finishes up, he starts to head for the door. Thanks.. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor Explore Education Career Save From scontent-mxp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net Military Jokes N Nawar K. 644 followers More information Military Jokes Army Humor Funny Photos Funny Images Aviation Humor History Jokes Warrior Quotes Stupid Funny Memes Hilarious More information . When a Navy fighter pilot saw this, he decided to approach the man and see what he was doing. How can you tell if theres an Air Force pilot at the bar? 38. Unfortunately for him, our lecturer caught him. Thats Daddy. Read more. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am" he said, "Do all these children and this luggage belong to you? Rodrigues there? You might be a Coastie if a cruise does not sound like a vacation to you. He looked over at the Soldier and said when are we going to stop playing these games, spitting in each others boots and pissing in each others drinks, its so juvenile!. Ummm no, youre good, he mumbled. Nothing, she said. The guy put down the paper, turned to my friend, and said, Well, there goes the light bulb.. There are so many funny military jokes and jabs out there so it took me a while to compile a list of only the best. Sure!With that, he revved up the razor, clipped off my sideburns, and gave them to me. When Is Military Appreciation Month? Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I explained, The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.. Long Haul 55+ Best Pilot Jokes That Fly | Kidadl 8. Officer: Soldier. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. They bagged six. The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. A lieutenant stood up and asked, Is that 24 hours our time or 24 hours their time?. Some are jokes that only the U.S. Air Force can understand while others are jokes made about those who are USAF members. I got one here related to the tranparency of Soviet news.. ----- *News report from Soviet press agency* A friendly communist agricultural tractor was intercepted by enemy group of seven Chinese battle tanks, while performing its everyday works on wheat fields along Soviet-Chinese border. He replied, When they stopped shooting at me.. Top 18 Funny Military Jokes To Share With All Your Military Friends ", Warren always replied, "I know Joy, but that helicopter ride is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid", One year Warren and Joy went to the Show, and Joy said, "Warren, I'm 85 years old. You can always leave the joke in a funny mug, or a pilot mug if the person is into aviation. March forth! My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. How tough? The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot". Because the Army needed heroes too. Only one. U.S. Navy Warship: We are a large warship of the United States Navy. I wouldnt set foot on any ship that intentionally sinks.. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. No one knows their way around sarcasm more than our U.S. troops. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. 1. The other replied, Not me! When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Because hes a captain in the Air Force. 2. Auld Lang Slice Great jokes, Im an inactive Marine (58 years) but still get a kick out of this type of humor. What do you call a military officer who goes to the bathroom a lot? As the soldiers disembarked, they started to jeer and boo. Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.. What do you call a deer thats enlisted in the Air Force? Why was the sergeant made when his son brought home an A in math? Pointing to the My husbands cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. Where are you from? 30. If at least ONE military joke below doesnt make you giggle, well, wed be concerned. He thought he would be home about 13:30. Whats the worst thing you could say to insult a Marine? A LOOtenant! You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. Then came Dads ships turn. Military Jokes March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. Trust us; we have plenty of those, too. 12. Why do members of the military often marry lovers from the foreign countries they were deployed in? ! I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. USN: Helos What do you call a group of kids who enlists in the military? As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them There are three rules in this mess hall- Shut up! After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base, in Germany, with my eight siblings and me, all under age 11. 42. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. This site contains affiliate links. Attention! S | Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. These involve the army, the navy, the air force, and other security forces.. Can You Name All 8 United States Uniformed Services? How much noise can we make up here? Once at the club, I drove up to the entrance, where the doorman promptly came to the passenger door and assisted my wife out of the car. However, even with full power, the little plane could not handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Now, lets try it again! During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. (pointing at the sky). Pre-flight briefing from Canadian Air Force Pilot If you hear me yell Eject, Eject, Eject, the last two will be echoes. I served in Korea, said Uncle Jerry. Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. AVIATION HUMOR - Sierra Hotel Aeronautics Ordered a private to bring back a five-gallon can of dehydrated water (in fact, the sergeant just wanted an empty water can). The only time you have too much fuel is when youre on fire. The optimist invests the aeroplane and the pessimist invents the parachute. My friend has a really toxic relationship with Navy vessels. San JoseTower: "Flight 751 heavy, turn right at the end if able. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Rather than move, he called the bridge: Hey, he said, can you shift the ship 15 degrees? Whats the difference between the Boys Scouts and the Army? I was instructing new recruits when an officer entered my classroom to observe and report on my teaching style. 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition), How to Unregister a Gun in your Name? Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb? Related read: 11 of the Best Veteran Memes That Perfectly Sum Up Veteran Humor. I cant, he said, but thats his worry now., An Air Force pilot says to a seaman, Youre in the Navy but you cant swim?, The seaman replies, Are you saying that since youre in the Air Force youre able to fly?. (Hang up. Marine Approved is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associate Program. Now, he said, when I say left, its the one that hurts.. Discover a funny military joke about the U.S. Army with this list. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance", To this, Warren replied, "Joy that helicopter is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid", The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. Son, you are going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. A friend paid my mother a visit. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. Aircraft Carriers Airshows Aviation History Aviation Humor Books Civil Aviation Cold War Era Drones F-14 Tomcat Helicopters Losses/Aviation Safety MiG Killers Military Aviation Space SR-71 Blackbird SR-71 Top Speed U.S. Navy Warbirds Weapons Yearly Summary. The LOUDEST Military Aviation PHOTOS Best Examples Of Aircraft Camouflage Oxcart/Blackbird Wind-Tunnel Test Models Things You Can See Almost Every Day In Dubai July 29, 2020 Fully Loaded Fighter Jets Showing Off July 2, 2020 Comical Google Maps Glitches With Airplanes May 2, 2020 Bomber Aircraft Low Passes. Soon after arriving at basic training, we were marched to the base barbershop, where we were told wed find a clipboard with our names on it. SUB sandwiches! 4. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite, 15. Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! Better Housing, Health Care, Pay and a Call for National Service Needed There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. Ask the Air Force to secure a building and they will sign a 10 year lease with an option to buy. In-flight Snacks Little treats sealed in a bag that can only be opened by using a chainsaw. When finally open guaranteed to spill everywhere, 60. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, How did you know the war was over? aviation JOKES (random) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. Two PFCs are walking down the street and one of them says, Oh look, a dead bird. The other PFC looks at the sky and says, Where? Overheard on a flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight to control it. 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2023 Edition) - Marine Approved What is a Soldiers least favorite month? 'Never fly in the same cockpit. My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. The gunners very first shot sent the drone into the water! Tower "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7", Eastern 702 "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway", Tower "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern? In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. ", "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?". "OK Suzy" said the teacher, "please tell the class your. The Army will post guards around the building. Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. Why, certainly, young man, he said, as he reached under his desk and handed me a large pair of bolt cutters. 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